Green Eyed Monster and 'Fraidy Cat
I don't really believe in jealousy. I'm not saying I don't believe it exists; I've seen it first hand. I just do my damndest not to feel it myself.
That being said, I'm a little envious of my sister. She decided that she wanted to get into acting last year, after her career as a hairdresser was kiboshed due to whiplash from a car accident.
So she signed up for some classes, got an agent, and started working hard at it. I guess that's the big difference between my sister and I. She works hard at everything she does, regardless of whether it's something she's interested in, regardless of how many other things she has on her plate, regardless of how things are going in other areas of her life.
She called me last night to say that she was pretty sure she was going to get cast in a low-budget, non-union feature. It sounds like a pretty B, direct to video type project. But it's acting work. On a set, paid.
And as happy as I am for her, I'm just a little angry with myself. Acting is supposedly my dream, yet I've done squat in the past 4 months to make this dream happen. Granted, I'm starting an advanced class tonight...
But I've had a draft message for a couple of different agencies for almost 3 months. And I haven't sent it. First the excuse was the move. Well, that's out of the way. Now I have no cell phone, so I'm loathe to send the letters out, without an easy way to get a hold of me. Right. Excuses all.
In reality, it's because I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll be told that I have no hope of fabricating a career as an actor. Afraid that if I do become even mildly successful, I'll discover that it's not what I want to do with my life. I'll grow to resent it, then hate it. Afraid if I don't pursue it, I'll what if myself for the rest of my life.
It's safer to fantasize about how great achieving your dreams will be, than to actually put yourself out and go for it.
No more. The timid little kid I was is gone. No more excuses. No more envy. If she got what she wanted, there's no reason I can't.
Good on you kid. Congratulations on the possible role, and thanks for giving your big brother an unintentional kick in the ass.
That being said, I'm a little envious of my sister. She decided that she wanted to get into acting last year, after her career as a hairdresser was kiboshed due to whiplash from a car accident.
So she signed up for some classes, got an agent, and started working hard at it. I guess that's the big difference between my sister and I. She works hard at everything she does, regardless of whether it's something she's interested in, regardless of how many other things she has on her plate, regardless of how things are going in other areas of her life.
She called me last night to say that she was pretty sure she was going to get cast in a low-budget, non-union feature. It sounds like a pretty B, direct to video type project. But it's acting work. On a set, paid.
And as happy as I am for her, I'm just a little angry with myself. Acting is supposedly my dream, yet I've done squat in the past 4 months to make this dream happen. Granted, I'm starting an advanced class tonight...
But I've had a draft message for a couple of different agencies for almost 3 months. And I haven't sent it. First the excuse was the move. Well, that's out of the way. Now I have no cell phone, so I'm loathe to send the letters out, without an easy way to get a hold of me. Right. Excuses all.
In reality, it's because I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll be told that I have no hope of fabricating a career as an actor. Afraid that if I do become even mildly successful, I'll discover that it's not what I want to do with my life. I'll grow to resent it, then hate it. Afraid if I don't pursue it, I'll what if myself for the rest of my life.
It's safer to fantasize about how great achieving your dreams will be, than to actually put yourself out and go for it.
No more. The timid little kid I was is gone. No more excuses. No more envy. If she got what she wanted, there's no reason I can't.
Good on you kid. Congratulations on the possible role, and thanks for giving your big brother an unintentional kick in the ass.
posted by Surly Canuck at 1:54 p.m.
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