More Letters
Dear City of Toronto Parking Authority,
Haha guys, very funny. Okay, you got me again. Nice trick, by the way, of switching which side of the street you can park your car on. Twice a month no less. Well done, good source of extra income.
Now you know, if you actually enforced some of the other bylaws, you might be able to take your hand out of my pocket. I'm talking about the 3 Minute Idle rule, the Blocking the Box rule, the Do Not Run over Pedestrians Exiting Streetcars rule... plus a host of others. I'm sure that these could carry higher fines than me parking on the wrong side of the street for FOUR FREAKING HOURS!
I mean really... hire me. There's three intersections I could sit at and write my weight in tickets every day for blocking the box. That's probably 8000 tickets a day! At $100 a piece, we could solve this budget crisis in a matter of months. Minus my 10% danger pay of course.
Sincerely,
Lord Vaga "Two Tickets and counting" Bond
**********
Dear Guy who hangs around the diner near where I work,
I'm impressed. You are a burly stereotypical red-headed Scottish looking bearded fellow. Wearing cut-off camo pants, combat boots, a red and white flannel checked shirt, paisley vest and a red tam with a white pom-pom. And how can I forget the corn cob pipe and striped socks?
That my friend takes a certain fashion flair and je-ne-sais-quoi to pull off, and you do it swimmingly. I'm suitably impressed, and that's not easy to do.
Congratulations,
Monsignor Vaga "Brain going into overload" Bond
PS: This letter brought to you by adjectives.
Haha guys, very funny. Okay, you got me again. Nice trick, by the way, of switching which side of the street you can park your car on. Twice a month no less. Well done, good source of extra income.
Now you know, if you actually enforced some of the other bylaws, you might be able to take your hand out of my pocket. I'm talking about the 3 Minute Idle rule, the Blocking the Box rule, the Do Not Run over Pedestrians Exiting Streetcars rule... plus a host of others. I'm sure that these could carry higher fines than me parking on the wrong side of the street for FOUR FREAKING HOURS!
I mean really... hire me. There's three intersections I could sit at and write my weight in tickets every day for blocking the box. That's probably 8000 tickets a day! At $100 a piece, we could solve this budget crisis in a matter of months. Minus my 10% danger pay of course.
Sincerely,
Lord Vaga "Two Tickets and counting" Bond
**********
Dear Guy who hangs around the diner near where I work,
I'm impressed. You are a burly stereotypical red-headed Scottish looking bearded fellow. Wearing cut-off camo pants, combat boots, a red and white flannel checked shirt, paisley vest and a red tam with a white pom-pom. And how can I forget the corn cob pipe and striped socks?
That my friend takes a certain fashion flair and je-ne-sais-quoi to pull off, and you do it swimmingly. I'm suitably impressed, and that's not easy to do.
Congratulations,
Monsignor Vaga "Brain going into overload" Bond
PS: This letter brought to you by adjectives.
posted by Surly Canuck at 3:34 p.m.
3 Comments:
We have alternate side parking in SJ now too, in the uptown peninsula. It is, I must agree, exceptionally random as a policy. And annoys the hell out of me when I'm trying to find a place to park on Sydney Street and end up by St Mac's and then Jenn mocks me the next day. Grrr!
Stupid parking.
That settles it. You're writing all my letters from now on. Start with that, then you slowly take over my comments as well.
Mare - It's a policy to get more tickey money, nothing more.
Harley - Let me know, I'll be happy to help. =)
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