How God Likes to Test Me
My female roommate (let's call her The Princess, cause that's what she thinks she is. Better yet, let's call her TP, cause it's shorter and closer to what I think of her) is going to propose to her boyfriend this weekend.
I'm not what you would call a traditionalist, so this doesn't really bother me. It's more the manner of the proposal. She's a bit of a nut; she's a big believer in dreams, tarot, and astrology, and thinks she's a little psychic. I know she's not based on the fact that she keeps trying to talk to me, but that's neither here nor there.
She has this painting that a friend did for her, with her star sign (Taurus) and some other stuff on it. I'm not sure what it all signifies, as I tend to tune out when she's talking. Anyway, TP loves this painting. I think it's ugly, and foolish to boot, but I've learned to keep my opinions to myself.
So, to propose, TP's gone and gotten this artist to paint a similar painting with her boyfriend's sign (Leo) on it. Problem is, the lion looks like some homeless guy went to a blind and palsy ridden plastic surgeon. Who drinks. Moonshine.
Apparently she loves the painting (fortunately I haven't seen her since it arrived). I'm just loathing when she asks my opinion of it. Forget the fact that I think she's a waste of flesh, and have contemplated calling her boyfriend and telling him to run... I just don't know what I'm going to say.
Am I a bad person? Probably, but you know, I'm at peace with that. I just hope that Gal and I are not invited to the wedding. I know that we will be, but I'm gonna try to come up with a case of something contagious that weekend.
But, in the spirit of trying to be a better person, I'm going to try and list five things I admire/like/don't hate about her.
1. She can construct a more or less complete sentence that makes sense.
2. She can form her own opinions (with no basis in fact or reality... damnit! Ignore this last bit)
3. She's got a university degree (in Social Work... if she tries to 'help' me one more time... damnit again.)
4. She pays rent on time.
5. In less than 60 days I'll never have to live in the same place with her ever again.
There... I feel like a better person already.
I'm not what you would call a traditionalist, so this doesn't really bother me. It's more the manner of the proposal. She's a bit of a nut; she's a big believer in dreams, tarot, and astrology, and thinks she's a little psychic. I know she's not based on the fact that she keeps trying to talk to me, but that's neither here nor there.
She has this painting that a friend did for her, with her star sign (Taurus) and some other stuff on it. I'm not sure what it all signifies, as I tend to tune out when she's talking. Anyway, TP loves this painting. I think it's ugly, and foolish to boot, but I've learned to keep my opinions to myself.
So, to propose, TP's gone and gotten this artist to paint a similar painting with her boyfriend's sign (Leo) on it. Problem is, the lion looks like some homeless guy went to a blind and palsy ridden plastic surgeon. Who drinks. Moonshine.
Apparently she loves the painting (fortunately I haven't seen her since it arrived). I'm just loathing when she asks my opinion of it. Forget the fact that I think she's a waste of flesh, and have contemplated calling her boyfriend and telling him to run... I just don't know what I'm going to say.
Am I a bad person? Probably, but you know, I'm at peace with that. I just hope that Gal and I are not invited to the wedding. I know that we will be, but I'm gonna try to come up with a case of something contagious that weekend.
But, in the spirit of trying to be a better person, I'm going to try and list five things I admire/like/don't hate about her.
1. She can construct a more or less complete sentence that makes sense.
2. She can form her own opinions (with no basis in fact or reality... damnit! Ignore this last bit)
3. She's got a university degree (in Social Work... if she tries to 'help' me one more time... damnit again.)
4. She pays rent on time.
5. In less than 60 days I'll never have to live in the same place with her ever again.
There... I feel like a better person already.
posted by Surly Canuck at 12:41 p.m.
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