I now pronounce you...
The Anonymous Coworker is getting married, and has a good post on the start of wedding planning. And it got me to thinking.
Now, I've never been married (that I know of), and don't really have any burning desire to be married. But I have been to a fair number of weddings in the last 8 years or so. In fact, I was averaging 4 a summer for a couple of those years.
As I mentioned, my soon to be ex-roommate, The Princess (TP), got engaged. Now the engagement was kinda silly in my mind, but what the hey, it means something to the two of them.
So I'm wandering through the kitchen over the weekend, and what do I see but a HUGE three ring binder, bursting at the seams. It's wrapped in cloth, with Dream Wedding (or something like that) stencilled on it.
Basically, it looks like she has her wedding already planned. From what I've heard, she started gathering articles, pictures, etc... in her early teens.
I'm all for planning, but if you've put that much thought, love, wishing, hoping, praying, and what have you into an event, is there any possible way that it can live up to your expectations?
Really, if you've dreamed about it since you were 13, can it end up being anything but a let-down? I honestly don't know. I can't see that it would for me.
And isn't the wedding really just the starting point? Is getting married more important than being married? It's a big day granted, but come on... There are lots of days to come after it.
I equate it with some folks I knew in High School. It was obvious to everyone (them included) that they were living out the best days of their lives. Good for them. But if the best days of my life occurred when I was 17, someone please shoot me in the head.
It's not the day, the ceremony, cake, photographer, reception, and gifts that matter. It's the possibility of everything to come after that day.
And I guess that's why I'm in no hurry to get married. I don't need one day to remind me of the possibilities of every day to come. It's great for some... it's just not my bag baby!
Now, I've never been married (that I know of), and don't really have any burning desire to be married. But I have been to a fair number of weddings in the last 8 years or so. In fact, I was averaging 4 a summer for a couple of those years.
As I mentioned, my soon to be ex-roommate, The Princess (TP), got engaged. Now the engagement was kinda silly in my mind, but what the hey, it means something to the two of them.
So I'm wandering through the kitchen over the weekend, and what do I see but a HUGE three ring binder, bursting at the seams. It's wrapped in cloth, with Dream Wedding (or something like that) stencilled on it.
Basically, it looks like she has her wedding already planned. From what I've heard, she started gathering articles, pictures, etc... in her early teens.
I'm all for planning, but if you've put that much thought, love, wishing, hoping, praying, and what have you into an event, is there any possible way that it can live up to your expectations?
Really, if you've dreamed about it since you were 13, can it end up being anything but a let-down? I honestly don't know. I can't see that it would for me.
And isn't the wedding really just the starting point? Is getting married more important than being married? It's a big day granted, but come on... There are lots of days to come after it.
I equate it with some folks I knew in High School. It was obvious to everyone (them included) that they were living out the best days of their lives. Good for them. But if the best days of my life occurred when I was 17, someone please shoot me in the head.
It's not the day, the ceremony, cake, photographer, reception, and gifts that matter. It's the possibility of everything to come after that day.
And I guess that's why I'm in no hurry to get married. I don't need one day to remind me of the possibilities of every day to come. It's great for some... it's just not my bag baby!
posted by Surly Canuck at 1:14 p.m.
6 Comments:
I don't know if I'll ever get married. I keep up correspondence with a female inmate, but until they find the head, she’s never gonna get a retrial. A tale as old as time.
"...if the best days of my life occurred when I was 17, someone please shoot me in the head..."
Funny, I have an entire screenplay treatment that revolves around this statement. It’s a comedy. I have had a chance to write it out yet though... but that’s pretty typical, am I right?
Watch Dazed and Confused if you haven't seen it. That sentiment figures prominently.
I don't know about the married thing. Gal isn't interested in it, and I'm not particularly interested myself, so...
Well said, Vagabond.
ACWF has only just started collecting ideas for the wedding, and in fact, we've been collecting them together.
Essentially, we're trying to have a party to in recognition of our union. Sort of starting out our lives together in the best way possible, and working to keep it at least that good afterward. It should be fun.
As far as getting married is concerned, we're doing it because of the benefits we would then be applicable for, and that we could share with each other. For example, her vision insurance is better than mine.
Not sure how it works up there in the great, white north, but the benefits for marriage here outweigh not getting married. Otherwise, we wouldn't be doing it.
Fortunately, Gal and I qualify as common-law, and as such, qualify for each other's insurance and such. We can even work off each other's taxes.
I don't think we'd actually gain any benefit from being married.
I've been through that whole "I don't need to get married" denial, so I've decided I do eventually want to be married. As long as you're not burying your true intentions because the other person isn't interested, then great, have fun with the common-law. One of the things I learned out of my mess was just to be careful not to lie to myself.
As far as having the whole dream wedding binder, yeah, girlie, you're in for a biiiiiggggg surprise. And a big Visa bill. Sure, planning a wedding can have its fun parts, but what happens after the wedding? For my diabtribe on how fairy tales suck, visit my blog. The short version is they suck, there is no happily ever after, and Dennis Leary is right - happiness is a chocolate chip cookie. hehehe, big f&*^ing Q, hehehe.... anyway...
I'd have to say a lot of girls do actually daydream/discuss potential wedding plans, but only the die-hards actually make a binder full of stuff they've collected over the years without having an actual fiance. I agree, you're really running the risk of a huge letdown.
it's true, the last part of what liz is saying. i personally don't know anyone who has a binder. i thought that sort of thing existed only in bad rom-coms with julia roberts. or possibly with reese witherspoon.
i'm all for a wedding. somewhere warm and vegas-y. i am not at all for receptions. the thought gives me hives. no, not really. but i'm glad jeff's doing the family wedding thing so i don't have to.
if i had a boyfriend, which i do not. so i guess this ramble is really irrelevant. oh well!
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