The Names are Made Up; the Problems are Real
"Piss off Rolly," I sneered.
"Well that's hardly the right way to greet an old friend," Rolly smirked. I hate that guy.
"First off, you're not a new friend, let alone an old friend. Secondly, it's the perfect way to greet you."
"Good to see your thinky bits are still working. Of course if they weren't, I wouldn't be here now would I?" He really is insufferable. And he has this nasty knack of showing up exactly when I don't need him.
"Howsabout you go play a nice game of hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?"
He didn't. He never did, no matter how many times I asked him.
My thinky bits were currently trying to kill me. I was thinking back to a recent conversation I'd had with Steph*. We'd been living together for quite a while, and we're to the point where we'd accumulated some stuff that wasn't easily identifiable as either hers or mine. The TV. The stereo. The cat.
"We'll just have to never break up," she announced off the cuff.
"We won't as long as you don't do something stupid," I quipped back. That's me, always with the wit. Of course, the last time it had been my screw-up, so I figured she was due.
Of course, this conversation was now playing counterpoint to a chat I'd had with a good friend of mine on the occasion of his bachelor party. Somewhere between the point in time when we'd arrived and when he and I were stinking drunk on tequilla, he'd asked me if he was doing the right thing marrying this girl.
"Man, if you're asking me, what do you think?" He knew there was no love lost between me and his wife to be. The fact that I told him to his face that I hated the stupid cow should have clued him in to my likely response.
"I promised her I'd never leave her man."
He was and is a stand-up guy, if nothing else. It's part of the reason why we're such good friends. But jeebus! What...
"A stupid promise to make?" Rolly smirked. He had a habit of finishing my thoughts like that.
"Piss off."
"Sound kind of familiar?"
"Again, piss off."
"I'm just saying... you're boxing yourself in too."
"It's not boxing myself in. I love her."
"And you think he doesn't love the stupid cow?"
"Weren't you going to go play a game or something?" I hate that guy. He's right at exactly the wrong times.
*Names changed - see the title.
"Well that's hardly the right way to greet an old friend," Rolly smirked. I hate that guy.
"First off, you're not a new friend, let alone an old friend. Secondly, it's the perfect way to greet you."
"Good to see your thinky bits are still working. Of course if they weren't, I wouldn't be here now would I?" He really is insufferable. And he has this nasty knack of showing up exactly when I don't need him.
"Howsabout you go play a nice game of hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?"
He didn't. He never did, no matter how many times I asked him.
My thinky bits were currently trying to kill me. I was thinking back to a recent conversation I'd had with Steph*. We'd been living together for quite a while, and we're to the point where we'd accumulated some stuff that wasn't easily identifiable as either hers or mine. The TV. The stereo. The cat.
"We'll just have to never break up," she announced off the cuff.
"We won't as long as you don't do something stupid," I quipped back. That's me, always with the wit. Of course, the last time it had been my screw-up, so I figured she was due.
Of course, this conversation was now playing counterpoint to a chat I'd had with a good friend of mine on the occasion of his bachelor party. Somewhere between the point in time when we'd arrived and when he and I were stinking drunk on tequilla, he'd asked me if he was doing the right thing marrying this girl.
"Man, if you're asking me, what do you think?" He knew there was no love lost between me and his wife to be. The fact that I told him to his face that I hated the stupid cow should have clued him in to my likely response.
"I promised her I'd never leave her man."
He was and is a stand-up guy, if nothing else. It's part of the reason why we're such good friends. But jeebus! What...
"A stupid promise to make?" Rolly smirked. He had a habit of finishing my thoughts like that.
"Piss off."
"Sound kind of familiar?"
"Again, piss off."
"I'm just saying... you're boxing yourself in too."
"It's not boxing myself in. I love her."
"And you think he doesn't love the stupid cow?"
"Weren't you going to go play a game or something?" I hate that guy. He's right at exactly the wrong times.
*Names changed - see the title.
posted by Surly Canuck at 1:47 p.m.
3 Comments:
Well played. I know quite well the voice of Rolly.
And btw.. That's going in my wedding vows:
"...to have and to hold, for as long as we both shall live; as long as you don't do something stupid."
Thanks, it was fun to write. I got to use Rolly, who's a recurring jerk... er character in a lot of my writing; I got to use 'thinky bits' which always makes me chuckle. Plus, my favourite 'get lost idiot' saying.
I'm starting to really enjoy this fictional non-fiction stuff. Semi-fiction one might call it.
Agreed Christie! I'm quite high up on the doing stupid things food chain. Really, I am. It's just kind of fun to say. =)
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